week 7 post 2

I often feel defensive in situations in which I am being accused of something. In this particular situation I was being accused of spilling cranberry juice on my friends carpet. The communication toward me was negative and supported a defensive climate rather than a supportive climate. The most common types of defensive communication that was used was strategy and evaluation. He was trying to get me to commit my mistake by carefully asking what i had been doing all night and did mention that the juice had been spilled. I knew that it had happened and i knew what he was eluding to so this made me defensive. Secondly, He was evaluating the situation on passed experiences and thought it was me before he knew any of the hard facts. These two types of communication preformed by my friend created a defensive climate and made it hard to resolve the situation. On one hand he thought i had did it without giving me a chance and how he went about it made me defensive. 

week 7 post 1

I thought an important subject in this chapter was commitment. The book describes commitment as the “decision to remain in a relationship” (p. 198). This is simple but I think commitment it more than just that. The book goes on and explains that commitment is really the intention to share failure. I think this is a better definition of the word because anyone can stick with someone if all is good and lucrative, but when things go bad is what test true commitment of a person. I think commitment is important because it is the foundation of all relationships. If someone is truly committed to making a relationship work, than that relationship will have a better chance to survive. All the other aspects f a relationship like trust, comfort, and openness mean nothing with out the essential building block of commitment. lastly the book distinguishes between commitment and love and stats that love is a feeling in which we can not control whereas commitment is a decision that we make.

week 5 post 2

The six types of fallacies are perfectionism, obsessions with shoulds, overgeneralization, taking responsibilities from others, helplessness, and fear of catastrophic failure. I think all of these fallacies happen in everyday interpersonal communication. The ones that I have doe a few times are trying to be a perfectionist. The book says a perfectionist has unrealistic self concept, stress, chronic dissatisfaction with self, and jealousy and envious of others. I think i hold myself to a high standard that is sometime unattainable because I want to be successful in life. The funny thing is that it is usually only with things that challenge me, things that come easy i lose interest in and become lazy. I also have a friend who commits the fallacy of fear of catastrophic failure. This is explain as when a person has negative fantasies of what could happen and inability to do things because of what might happen. she often does not strive to do big things because she is afraid of failing, because of this she sets her goals low. I think a way to monitor your interpersonal communication to make yourself to stay away from these fallacies is to be positive and set measurable and attainable goals for yourself.

week 5 post 1

I think the perspective on emotions that I relate with the most is the perceptual view of emotions. Like the book states, “External objects and events, as well as physiological reactions, have no intrinsic meaning.” (p. 174) This means that specific actions or events that happen are not linked with emotional reactions. The theory explains that each event is seen subjectively from the persona and depending on the situation and circumstance, and emotional reaction happens. Before a fight a persons ands may be shaking because they are scared. But that same person hands may be be shaking on the day of graduation because of the joy they are experiencing. This shows how the situation is the determining factor in what the emotion is rather than the physical reaction that is caused by the emotion. I related most with this perception because i can relate to my own experiences with it. 

week 4 post 3

I thought the “listening is a ten part skill” was an insightful reading and gave me a lot of good tips for then next time i am in a situation where i have to listen to someone, which is likely to be soon. The reading first talked about starting a conversation and said it is important to have an area of interest that both parties find interesting. If you are disinterested in what is being talked about you will be less likely to listen. It then talks about how we should not let the delivery hinder our view on the communication. if we do not like the way someone sounds we should not let that take away from the content that person is delivering. holding back from becoming to excited about the topic at hand is the next thing that is talked about. We should be aware of overstimulation because that will take away from the conversation. the next tip is to listen for ideas. the book says that listening for central ideas is important and will improve listening. It then talks about how being flexible is important for a good listeners. Each situation may call for something different, not being fixed into a certain way of doing something can be helpful. Then the reading talks about ways to improve listening. tips it gives is to simply work at listening. Paying attention to the process and trying to improve every chance you get can help. it then says it is important to resist distractions when listening. there are plenty of noise happening when trying to listen and trying to focus on what is being said can help. finally it talks about keeping your mind open. When listening it is important to keep your opinion open so you can hear the whole argument. if you are against something and decide that it is wrong right away you will stop listening and may miss something that will change your mind.

week 4 post 2

The six forms of nonolisting the book talks about are pseudolistening, monopolizing, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing, and literal listening. Pseudolistening is when a person pretends to listen. This most commonly happens when we are at a meeting and we have something bigger on our minds, we on the outside we act like we are listening to the discussion, but in or minds we are elsewhere. Most pseudolisteners reveal themselves when asked a question because their answer will not be on topic. Monopolizing happens when a listener is focused on only there selves and no other aspect of the conversation. Two tactics thats monopolizing listers use are conversational rerouting and interrupting. Conversational rerouting is used to shift the topic back to themselves. It takes the conversation and focuses it back on one person. Interrupting is used to bring the topic back to something that interest us. Right when a conversation is about to take a new topic, the listener interrupts and brings it back to something that interest them.  selective listening is when a reader only focuses on certain parts of the communication, usually on the things they want to hear and block out things that do not interest us. defensive listening is defined as “perceiving personal attacks, criticism, or hostility,in communication that is not critical or mean-spirited” (p. 158). This happens to people that often feel attacked and have a need to defend there position, even when it does not call for it. Ambushing happens when a listener wants to attack the other person in the conversation, so they listen very close to what is being said so they can verbally attack them. Lastly, literal listening happens when a listener is only listening to content and does not take any other factor in anything else about the communication. People how do this seem to look over the relationship between the communicators and focus solely on the content, which can give you a completely different message. Nonlistening is detrimental to the communication process and should be recognized so it can not interfere.

week 4 post 1

I thought an important aspect that was reviewed in this chapter was the guidelines for effective listening. the three strategies that are mentioned are be mindful, adapt listening appropriately, and listen actively. being mindful explains that we must put aside our preoccupation and preconceptions so the listener can attend fully what is happening at the moment. The second tip involves the purpose for listening. Each situation has has a different emphasis and being aware of the situation will help listening. Lastly the book talks about listening actively. This means understanding all the aspects that go into listening and recognizing each individual part of and respecting that that will enhance the persons listening skills. Overall, these guidelines help individuals in the communication process known as listening. Listening is an important part of the communication process that is often overlooked, but when paid attention to it can greatly help the entire process