I have been in a situation where commitment was present in a relationship but not love. First, the difference between love and commitment in a relationship is this. Commitment is “ the intention to remain involved with a relationship”, whereas love is defined as “intensely positive feelings fervent desire for another person” (p. 277) While it is ideal that you have both while in a relationship, there are plenty situations where only one of these are present. In my situation, I was committed to a girl, but did not love her. She was a really good friend of mine but i did not have the feelings that i thought i had for her. I wanted to stay in the relationship because i did not want to hurt her. The relationship dragged on and eventually ended. i think i can conclude that you need both love and commitment for a relationship to work the best. If you love a girl, but do not want to be committed to only her, then she will find someone who will.
I can relate to being in a relationship where commitment is present while love is absent. It’s a hard spot to be in because you don’t know what the right move is. Do you tell her you don’t love her and risk hurting her deeply, or do you stick it out and hope that one day you might fall in love with her? I can’t say which would’ve been the better choice for me to have made but, nonetheless, I see how love and commitment are both needed in a growing relationship. I only wish I knew that a few years ago.
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